Two or More Theories of the Formation of Romantic Relationships Essay Example for Free

Two or More Theories of the Formation of Romantic Relationships Essay One theory of the formation of a romantic relationship is one put forward by Byrne and Clore called the reward/need satisfaction model. They suggested that we have relationships long term because we find them rewarding, or we don’t like the prospect of being alone. The rewards from a partner can include friendship, love and sex, or the particular person is associated with pleasant situations so then we want to spend time with them and form a romantic relationship. This can also include the satisfaction from a relationship with a person of high social status, as it would make you look good to other people. These needs can differ from person to person as to what is important. Rusbolt and Van Lange argue that rewards are important as when you do not know someone well communication can start on a ‘tit-for-tat’ basis with favours that can lead to more conversation and rewards. This was called by Clark and Mills and ‘exchange relationship’ as a relationship like this goes on it can turn to a ‘Communal relationship’ where rewards are given as a result of concern for a partner which can be an important aspect of forming a close relationship. May and Hamilton tested the good association part of the theory by getting groups of female students to look at pictures of male students and say if they like the look of them or not. One group looked at the pictures while pleasant music was being played, another group looked while unpleasant music was being played and a control group looked with no music. As predicted the group with pleasant music rated the male students the highest. This model may be very culturally bound as all the studies done were in the western world’s individualistic cultures. In other cultures one partner may not expect rewards and may be entirely giving, or arranges marriages will also go against this theory as the long term is made to happen. It suggests that these relationships are likely to be formed where partners meet each other’s needs even though they have different views about when this becomes important. It is argued that long-term happy relationships have needs met while unhappy ones have unmet needs, this was said by Smith and Mackie Another theory is the Filter Model proposed by Kerchoff and Davis; they say that relationships develop through three ‘filters’. It starts with the ‘field of availables’ which are people available for a relationship where we then filter out different partners for different reasons, so it narrows down to a ‘field of desirables’ who are the people we consider as a potential partner. The first filter involves the social model where we choose people without being aware by where they live, work, have been educated or their social class. With individual characteristics not being important at this point. Then there is similarity of attitudes and values, where a partner’s beliefs and ideas come into effect. This is where communication is easier and the relationship can progress, however if beliefs and views are very different then the relationship may not move from its current position. The final filter is the emotional needs, which is whether the people fit as a couple and can meet each other’s needs. Kerchoff and Davis used their model to do a study on students who had been together for more than or less than 18 months. They were asked to complete questionnaires over 7 months on attitudes and personality of their partners compared to theirs; it was found that this was important in relationships up to around 18 months, whereas after this psychological compatibility and ability to meet each other’s needs becomes more important supporting the filter model. However questionnaires can have bias as participants may want to shows themselves in the best light thus skewing the results, also all the participants were students so age difference in relationships was not accounted for. The filter model emphasizes the importance of demographic factors and attitudes as ‘filters’ in the development of relationships. Sprecher found that couples matched in physical attractiveness, interests and social background were more likely to develop a relationship that is long-term. Found due to his longitudinal study of couples over 21 years and found similar education and age at the start of the relationship at the start were more likely to stay together. They also gained more similar attitudes as time went on. The filter theory is also very culturally biased as other cultures ways of choosing a mate may not have anything to do with the mentioned factors due to a collectivist nature of the culture or any other differences. There is also the problem that this model generalises to every couple where there will instead be many individual differences between choices of partners.